Today the love of my life, his other partner and I move in together. We are four cats, three people, two bedrooms, and loads of nerves and love all rolled into one household.
My wonderful Jonathan already called me to let me know that the entire living room and dining room are completely filled with boxes & furniture. Also, his partner, Lora, is feeling stressed to the max and has decided to spend the evening setting up her computer and playing computer games until she passes out. Totally reasonable coping mechanism after a day spend moving. I suspect my coping will involve a few glasses of wine as well as some cat cuddles.
I am going to see how bad it is and figure out what I can do to make it feel easier on me. Though I haven’t lived in my parent’s home for over twenty years, my parents were (and still are) extremely messy and pack-ratty people, so rooms filled with boxes fill me with difficult-to-control dread and rage. It takes me back to that time when everything was always a mess, and never seemed to have a hope of getting better (and it turns out, the only way it got better for me was to move out and leave them to their mess).
In the meantime, my dearest Jonathan, Lora and I will see how we can live together. Although all of us have been poly for awhile, and have all come to these relationships having had other poly relationships, it’s the first time that we’ve lived with multiple partners in this kind of long-term situation. For me, this is only the second time I’ve lived with a romantic partner, and the first time I’ve moved in with someone deliberately. I have a lot of fears, and a lot of hopes. Lora and I know each other well enough to know that we can get along superficially, and that we have a number of interests in common ((besides Jonathan 🙂 ). But we don’t know much else about each other, and haven’t spent much time together. We had a rocky start, and then travel and crazy work/school schedules made it hard to see each other more than semi-regularly. So moving in together is a big leap for both of us. But both of us trust Jonathan. And Jonathan keeps saying that we’re all smart people who always do our best, and think things through logically, so he had faith in our combined abilities to get through the hard parts.
I hope. I really hope.
Right now, I need to go home and confront the boxes filling our home, and try to not let my fear, and anger, and anxiety about those things cloud any of my feelings for Lora or Jonathan. I think I can do this. And as the weekends and years go by, we’ll see how this all comes together.