I’m excited to say that I participated in the Indigogo campaign for Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert‘s new, sex-and-poly positive publishing company. In return for my donation, I chose to get all four of their e-books. I’ve already gotten links to several of them, so now I have some interesting holiday reading to enjoy. Even more excitingly, in the last few days of the fundraiser, they added in two additional ebooks, one a companion guide to a book they already offer, and the last one is a booklet for friends and family about coming out poly.
Though I am out to my parents and friends, I’m not yet out to my extended family, so I’m very interested to read that last booklet. The main reason I’m not out to my extended family is because I visit my original hometown infrequently and speak to my extended family so rarely that it would involve special effort to get them in the know. Unless I come out in Facebook. I’m not exactly in the closet on Facebook, but I’m also not out – I have photos of Jonathan & Lora up (as well as a few other cuddly – but not blatantly poly – photos with some other lovers up), and anybody who reads between the lines could probably tell that I’m poly. But someone who isn’t looking? It’s probably not obvious.
Given that coming out poly could potentially be hurtful to my job, I have hesitated to be fully open about it online – although putting it that way sounds like I’m hiding being poly more than I actually am. I’ve never been one to put a lot of information about my romantic relationships online, so not making my poly-ness obvious is in line with the way I’ve always presented myself online. At the same time, a part of me does want to make it clear that I’m poly, because I think it’s important for people to get exposure to poly people and understand that we’re not all out to convert everybody to being poly (much like the reasoning that gay individuals often used when choosing to be more out, and much like the reasoning that I also use when being open about being bisexual). I want people who have the gut reaction that poly = bad to realize that they know me and I’m poly and I’m also not bad, so maybe they need to rethink that whole poly = bad idea.
At any rate, the most exciting thing for me is that I’m going to have several new books to look forward to reading, and I got them by supporting a cause that I feel strongly about. While I don’t think that polyamory is for everybody, I do think that the world becomes a better place for all poly people when there are more resources that show us what healthy poly relationships look like, and how poly people have gotten there. I’m even debating sending a submission in for the Stories from the Polycule anthology. I don’t know if what I have to say is unique enough to be included, but maybe it can’t hurt to try!