meeting results

Jon and Lora had coffee and talked for about an hour. He said it was hard and sad, but mostly good. He also said he’s not sure if he wants Lora to still be in his life or not. It’s something he’s going to have to feel out as he goes along.

I personally think it’s insane for him to entertain any kind of relationship with her, but that’s not my call. And if they do have any kind of relationship (or start dating again someday), I will work through my feelings on that and my boundaries. It’s not nearly as stressful a thought as it was previously, especially since I told Jon that if Lora’s going to be in my life, she’s going to be held as accountable for her words and actions as anybody else that I keep in my life. If that’s too tough for her, then we’ll stay civil acquaintances.

The most important part is that Lora will be emailing him a list of things that she wants us to set aside for her to keep with her. The rest will be packed up (by me and Jon) for Lora and her mom to come get sometime in the next few weeks (definitely before we leave on our vacation). If that all happens as described, I’ll be ecstatic. If it doesn’t happen that way, we’ll take it as it goes.

Either way, every step towards her things leaving is a step in the right direction. I ran by Jon what I wanted to do with the little bedroom, and he likes my ideas. I’m going to start working on that (and packing) a little bit at a time this weekend.

My biggest curiosity at this point is what happens when Lora and her mom come to get her things. Mainly, while Lora’s mom (allegedly) knows that Lora is poly, she never did learn that Lora was living with her metamour. So I wonder a bit if there will be any stipulations on me being able to be around or if I’ll be expected to act like Jon’s friend. Not that I plan on sticking my tongue down Jon’s throat while Lora’s mom is around, but if she asked me how I know Jon and Lora, is it going to be OK with Lora if I tell her that I’m Jon’s other girlfriend?

I guess we’ll see how that shakes out when it happens.

In the meantime, things are moving ahead at a speed that I am comfortable with. Some people may dislike the idea of packing up their abusive metamour’s possessions, but I’m going to make it into a ritual of saying “good-bye and good riddance”.  Sure, I would like it better if Lora came and took care of it herself, but if that’s not in the cards, I’ll use it as an opportunity to reinforce my feelings of her dwindling from my life.


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polyamorist, cat-lover, hopeless optimist when I'm not being a firm realist.

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