I’m doing my best here…

…but not having a concrete date for Lora’s stuff to be out is driving me nuts.

I told Jon last night about how stressed I was over the weekend about her stuff still being here. He reminded me that he’d just had a talk with her about which dates worked for both him and her mom. I told him it wasn’t about that; it was that it was yet another deadline passed. I wish I’d also thought to say something like “Lora has known she needed to do this for over a month. So why didn’t she talk to her mom of her own accord, knowing what her mom’s schedule is like, and knowing that her stuff needed to be moved out?”. The answer is probably “Lora was banking on moving back in in a few weeks”. Not that Jon would give me that answer, as I think he firmly believes that Lora knew all along that her stuff needed to leave the apartment. But this whole disingenuous “I need to email Lora herself” thing Jon is doing is driving me a little crazy, as Lora is a freaking adult who could figure this out on her own.

I asked Jon today what was going on with this. He said he emailed her today. So now we’ll play the “How long will it take for Lora to respond” game. And I wonder what Lora will say:

“Sorry, my mom didn’t let me know what works for her yet”?

“Sorry I forgot to ask her. I’ll ask her when I talk to her in a day or two”?

“Sorry, I’m doing everything in my power to draw this out, because it’s the last connection I have to you and I’m deliberately trying to keep my stuff here past your vacation because it will feel like a ‘win’ of some sort for me”?

I’m not sure if that last one is catty on my part, or at all an on-the-mark speculation.

Jon did confirm today that Lora knows that her things HAVE to be out by our vacation. Of course, if she views that as a deadline or a challenge, I have no idea.

I. Just. Want. Her. Stuff. Out.

Ok, I don’t just want that. I also want Jon to go through the kitchen, the bookshelves, and the coat closet to make sure all her stuff is out of those places too. He keeps saying he will, but he doesn’t. I know it’s painful. I absolutely, viscerally know that it’s painful. But freaking hell, just get it over with and then it will be done!

I’m not a…I’m not into punishing people, and this wouldn’t be done as a punishment, but I’m really close to saying to Jon that I really don’t want to hang out with him much until he goes through that stuff. Because it’s always beating away in the back of my head, but more so when he and I are together. When’s he going to pull the rest of her stuff together? If he wishes her stuff had left the house weeks ago, why hasn’t he done more to make that happen faster?

I know. I know it’s about feelings. I know it’s because it’s hard. I know it’s harder on Jon and Lora than it is on me. I’m trying my best to be patient. But I am really running out of patience and energy for other people’s needs.

I just want this done.

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lizeden

polyamorist, cat-lover, hopeless optimist when I'm not being a firm realist.

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