taking a break

Some things have happened. Nothing major. I’m still mostly apathetic and not really into being alive right now. Not that I want to be dead; I definitely don’t. The world is just mostly in sepia tones and I’m trying to really concentrate on the bright spots, in part because I’ve realized that I’ve still got some Lora issues to work through. When I’m not dealing with those, I’m trying to draw some color and brightness back into my life.

So I think I’m going to take a break from blogging. I haven’t blogged about poly things, for the most part, in a long, long time. This blog definitely helped me through some of the hardest emotional shit that I’ve ever dealt with in my life. Writing here and journaling are really the two things that got me through on some days. Continue reading taking a break

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more therapy reveals

My therapist, she is all therapizing me. I forgot how good they are at picking things out. Important little bits that I might kinda know, or maybe didn’t quite know, but are probably incredibly important and potentially vital to the healing process.

She remembered a few things I’d mentioned about my family situation. Namely the way my mom could also be an abusive asshole, both to me and my dad. My childhood involved a lot of my mom screaming at my dad (or me) for ridiculous bullshit things. It wasn’t an unusual event in my house for my mom to get angry and refuse to talk to me for days. Which was monumentally better than her yelling. I actually used to look forward to those episodes, though I couldn’t do so outwardly; nothing pisses of an abusive asshole like realizing that their punishment is actually a blessing. Continue reading more therapy reveals